And That's When I Realized
by PhiSat
Summary: Set in Raven Rise, on the trip back on the Queen Mary. Mark is depressed after giving Nevva his ring. Courtney decides he needs her help. MarkxCourtney, cute little oneshot. Reviews are always appreciated!


**Hey everyone! I'm back!**

**PhiSat apologizes for her long months of creative dryness. Nothing she seemed to write worked… She was very fed up and frustrated. Then she took a holiday, and a few days ago this idea popped into her head.**

**So I wrote this little MarkXCourtney oneshot. Hope fellow fans like it. **

**There should be updates for my other fics very soon. Thanks for your patience, guys!**

**-PhiSat**

Mark hadn't emerged from his bunk for the past few days. Since the beginning of the voyage.

Courtney knew what he was going through. Mark had had to make lots of tough decisions over the past two weeks. Too many tough decisions.

But since he had chosen to give Nevva Winter his Traveler Ring for the lives of his parents, he had done exactly what Courtney had done months ago; he was spiraling down. Isolating himself from the world, ashamed. Courtney knew how it felt.

Before, all she thought Mark needed was time. In a few days he'd pick himself up. Or at least, he would talk to her a little more about it.

But he wasn't. And Courtney was worried. Mark was doing exactly what she had done, and her trip down had almost led to her death. As it was, she'd been used by Saint Dane; she was a pawn on a chessboard, falling perfectly into place. If she had been more trusting, more open with her best friend, maybe Mark wouldn't have become friends with Andy Mitchell.

With Saint Dane.

Maybe they wouldn't be here, in 1937, having just failed to stop the invention of Forge. Of the Dados.

It hadn't been too long ago that Courtney had struggled with how stupid she'd been. How naïve. But then she had had to put that aside to save Mark from Saint Dane.

And from herself... Courtney remembered standing not far from the spot she was in now, revolver in hand, ready to shoot her best friend, her only friend… Just like the computers on Third Earth had predicted. History complete.

Courtney pushed herself up off the rail she'd been leaning on, standing back up. She'd decided. Mark needed her help right now, whether he knew it or not.

*/-*/-*

Mark stared straight ahead.

There was a sort of oil painting ahead of him, but it didn't even register in his mind. He wasn't staring at the painting. He didn't even know why he was sitting in this chair. Or was it a couch? He didn't care.

He'd screwed up. Bad.

Bobby was trapped. Mark had failed to prevent the Dado invasion. Or even their invention. Worse, he'd _created_ the Dados. He was practically responsible for the fall of two territories. He'd walked right into Saint Dane's plan. And icing on the cake, he had trusted a stranger over Courtney. No, actually, that was more like the cherry on top. The real icing on the cake was that he'd given in to Nevva's threats. She had his Traveler's Ring.

And he didn't know why.

Nevva could be plotting to release Saint Dane for Ibara. She could be setting more pieces of The Convergence. She could be causing collapse of another Territory. Mark had no way of knowing and it was killing him.

If it wasn't for the fact that he was sharing a cabin with Dodger, he wouldn't have even bothered with getting out of bed. Why should he? Everything he did just made their situation worse. So much worse…

None of them deserved this. Not his parents, not Dodger, and least of all, Courtney… Not Courtney. She had been through so much, just on Second Earth. And here too, just trying to find him… He was such an idiot. He didn't deserve to have Courtney as his friend.

Maybe she _should _have shot him…

A knock on the door. Mark turned to look, but only briefly. It wasn't locked.

"I'm coming in." Mark heard the doorknob turn, the door open. Courtney sat down beside him.

Neither of them said anything for a while. Tension was thick in the air. Finally, Courtney spoke: "You made a choice, Mark. That's all you could have done."

"Mmhmm." Mark continued to stare straight ahead blankly. Through his peripheral vision, Mark saw Courtney turn to face him. He couldn't see her facial expression.

"What are you thinking, Mark?"

"Mmn." He was thinking lots of things. How much of a failure he was. How stupid. How Courtney shouldn't even be wasting her time on him. He didn't deserve her company.

Yet, sometimes, when he couldn't sleep, he thought of that time, scarcely a week ago, that tense, terrifying moment on the ship railing… What Courtney had told him, what he'd replied…

"He played both of us, Mark. Both of us. You know why Saint Dane tried to kill me? It wasn't because he saw me as a threat. It wasn't so Bobby would come protect me. It was to become your friend, Mark! I was played just as bad as you were! I should have been open with you, then I wouldn't have gone to stupid summer school! I let him use me and get us apart!" Courtney was yelling by the end of her speech.

Mark frowned. No, it wasn't her fault… How could it be? Courtney had done what she had to do to get over her issues. She wasn't at fault. He was. He was the one who believed Mitchell suddenly changed, despite Courtney's protests. He believed Mitchell was suddenly a brainiac. He'd ignored the warning signs. He should've seen it coming…

"And Nevva didn't give you a choice. She hit you when you least expected it. You had no time to think. No one blames you for-"

"Well, maybe they should."

Courtney stood up. Mark finally turned to face her. She was angry. Her grey eyes burned. "Look, do you want me to tell you everything's gonna be okay, Mark? I don't know that! Neither of us do! But we don't know everything's gone to hell either! So don't expect reassurance from me. All we can do is our best, right here, right now." And with that last statement, Courtney turned away from Mark and began to walk out.

Mark stood, shaken and alarmed. Not this. Not Courtney. "C-Courtney!"

She stopped, one hand reaching for the doorknob. Mark briefly wondered if she had been expecting this to happen. Add predictable to his list of failings.

"D-don't go. P-please. Stay here."

For the longest time, or at least it felt like the longest time to Mark, Courtney didn't move. Then, suddenly, she turned back around and flopped down onto the couch again, back to where she'd been sitting before. Much more slowly than Courtney's sudden move, Mark sat back down.

Another silence. But this time, Mark was the one staring at Courtney while she looked straight ahead. He remained silent, drinking in the sight of his best friend, capturing every detail. Long brown hair, just barely longer than waist-length. Grey eyes, turned away from him. She was chewing her lip just a little bit, giving away the fact that she was lost in thought.

Mark had always known, always realized that Courtney was beautiful. Of course he did. She was Courtney Chetwynde. No one he knew could ever compare to her. No one in his opinion. Ever.

She turned her head. "Mark?"

He realized he'd been inching closer to her in his reverie. Oops. Congratulations, dumbass. Mark froze, a faint blush spreading on his cheeks. He couldn't move. At all. He was trapped, locked in Courtney's serious, grey gaze.

She held their eyes contact, quickly looked down, looked back up, a faint lip bite-

Suddenly, the most incredible thing happened. Courtney leaned forward, her eyes closed, and their lips touched. Mark's eyes widened in shock. He thought he was frozen before, now he knew he'd been wrong. So very, completely, wrong… That had been nothing, _nothing _compared to this…

But as abruptly as it started, it was over. Courtney pulled away, her eyes opened again, studying Mark's reaction. After a second, she spoke.

"You taste like carrots, dork."

That broke the spell Mark was under. He scrambled to find a response to that. What could he… What could he possibly say? He made some sort of sound not even he recognized and looked down. Wrung his hands. They were sweaty. No surprise there.

Finally. He managed to stumble something out. "H-How l-lo-"

"How long?" Courtney interrupted, completing Mark's attempt at a sentence with a hint of a smile. Of course Courtney would be perfectly fine with the situation. Cool in any crisis… Not that this was a crisis… God, Mark, calm down…

Courtney waited a bit longer, then began. "In the hospital, I didn't exactly have a lot to do except think. And I couldn't always take theorizing about Halla and the nature of the Travelers, so I… I started thinking about you. Well, and about how badly I'd screwed my life up. I think it was all the soaps." Courtney attempted a joke, but Mark couldn't laugh right now. Couldn't even smile. Even though he would have.

Her smile died. "Anyways, when you read me Bobby's journals from Zadaa, it sort of… I guess it just confirmed it for me. Things weren't going to go back to the way they were before. Bobby's in love with Loor now. I thought it would hurt more, but… I was okay with it. I'm still okay with it. Mark, it took me a while to realize it, but what I told you that day," They both knew what she was talking about, "I meant it. I love you."

It was official; Mark was utterly speechless. Courtney Chetwynde, _the _Courtney Chetwynde, was in love with him. With… Mark. It hardly computed. It was crazy, insane, delusional…

And beyond all of Mark's wildest dreams.

"Say something, you dork. Please."

Mark's attention returned to Courtney. Her eyes were wide, hopeful, _maybe _even a bit desperate, searching for an answer.

Mark knew he wasn't smooth. Right now, he was just hoping he could say _something. _Saying it well… That would just be a bonus. If it was even possible.

"C-Courtney… I-I…" And of course, he couldn't spit it out. He had to just bite the bullet. No hesitation. Just do it!

"C-CourtneyIthinkIloveyoutoo."

Good job. Like that was even comprehensible. No bonus points here.

Somehow though, Courtney got it. The search in her eyes turned into a happy gleam. She smiled her trademark cocky smile. "Your turn. How long?"

Oh. Great. Mark wrung his hands together again, looking down. When _had _it started? When he'd seen her in the isolation ward of the _Queen Mary_? When Nevva had told him he needed to introduce Forge to save his parents, and he almost turned back at the thought of Courtney, alone again? When he'd seen her broken body at the bottom of that ditch? Or maybe even that slight twinge of annoyance he'd felt when Courtney flirted with Spader was the start. Or later, when she told him about Whitney… That was a good question. One Mark didn't have the answer to, like so many others.

He just ended up saying; "F-For a long time." It was the truth.

Courtney was now the one to say nothing. She just held their stare, with that same smile as before. However, it slowly faded as she once again leaned forward. And this time, Mark didn't act like a deer caught in headlights. He could relax just long enough to close his eyes.

The last kiss had been gentle, almost tentative, probably for him benefit. Mark had never kissed a girl before, and it was obvious. This was nothing like the last kiss. Two seconds in, and Courtney suddenly wrapped her lean, strong arms around Mark, pulling him close, closer than he'd ever been to anyone before. And she did something that almost made Mark panic; her lips parted and her tongue prodded against his mouth.

Something inside Mark gave way. He opened his mouth and went on autopilot. Thankfully, his body seemed to know what to do, because his mind was a complete blur. Out to lunch. Somehow, he got his arms around Courtney and savored the most perfect moments of his life.

Finally, Courtney pulled away, leaving Mark to catch his breath and open his eyes. That, that… Amazing. That was all Mark could think about what had just happened. It was really as great as Bobby had described-

Bobby.

Courtney said she'd accepted that Bobby had moved on. Still, even though Mark desperately did _not _want to mess this up, he still felt the need to ask one last time.

"C-Courtney… You're s-sure about this?" Damn stutter. He wished it would go away.

"Yes." She answered almost instantly. Determination shone in her eyes. Well, as long as she was sure… Mark couldn't help but smile.

*/-*/-*

Hours later, Courtney stared out the room's porthole, composing her thoughts. Her and Mark. Together. The whole concept seemed strange. They were two worlds apart. In a normal life, they would never have even known the other existed.

Well, Mark would probably have known about Courtney. But it wouldn't have been like this. Never this.

The world wasn't normal. And in this bizarre life, it felt perfect.

Mark was leaning on her shoulder, eyes closed. Courtney knew he wasn't asleep. Slowly, she reached an arm over him and started playing with his hair, waiting until he grunted in protest and opened his eyes.

"Come on. Your parents will be happy to know you're not an emotional train wreck anymore."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that…" Mark retorted.

Courtney laughed. No, of course not. What was she thinking? She bent down and kissed Mark's forehead, making him blush. "Okay, not a _miserable _train wreck. Better?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Another chuckle. They might be trapped in 1937, incapable of stopping Dado production, but not everything was bleak. Courtney got up. Mark was right behind her.

Guess they'd both found out something today. Realization. And now, for the future.

Together.

The acolytes left the room, holding hands.


End file.
